Turns out constantly negotiating with yourself to not un-alive is neither normal nor cool. I'm better now, even though my life exploded for a minute there.
lyrics
I've spent 30+ years on this planet
Every year making the same deal with myself
To live to see another summer
On the off chance that something amazing might happen
Or I might achieve something great that would justify
Being alive another summer
But that doesn't work if you don't let anything count as a win
Every experience poisoned by being the one who experienced it
But I found a way to clear all the toxins from out of my brain
And make it ok for me to be
But now everything is on fire
It's one grand experiment
How much of my life can burn down to the ground
I'm losing connections
But this sweet resurrection of hope
Is my Parkland Formula
Inject it straight into my veins
And tell me that it's not in vain
For me to keep being
For another summer
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